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Western Doll
Perin Aili Hart was born in the Number 2 Affiliated Medical College Hospital in Chongqing on November 20, 2002. Her father (me) is of Finnish-Canadian background, and her mother was born and raised here. She is an adorable child who has really assimilated both of her parental units’ best qualities, and has already proven herself kinder, smarter, more beautiful than both of us combined.
Whenever I take out my daughter on the streets of Chongqing, crowds gather. Often people think I cannot understand what they are saying, and I overhear comments like “Look, that foreigner must have adopted a Chinese baby!” Sometimes when Jennifer takes her out, others assume that she is the nanny or babysitter for some Western family. It really irks her when she hears that! However, most people can immediately discern the fact that Perin is of mixed heritage. It is said that the further apart parents are in the gene pool, the more attractive their children usually turn out, and I would have to agree. Being the one-time founder of the International Couples Fellowship of Vancouver, I have seen quite a few “mixed” families and their offspring, and they often do tend to be strikingly attractive.
In Chongqing, everyone loves to pinch her cheeks, squeeze her calves and forearms, and caress her curly brown hair. I know children are fair game and up for grabs (literally) in China, but the amount of attention she commands sometimes becomes excessive. I do not like strangers touching her, and polite as I try to be, have offended a number of middle age women when I say, “You may look at her, but please do not touch”. Especially during the SARS break out last summer, we were very wary of strangers manhandling Perin, and I felt especially obliged to protect her against straying hands. In my neighbourhood, there are many people from that demographic (female, between 30 and 60) who know my name but do not use it, opting just to call me Mr. “Can Look, No Touch”.
The whole concept of privacy is very different in this country of 1.3 billion souls. One morning last summer we were awaken at 7:30 am by an incessantly ringing doorbell. I thought for sure it was my mother-in-law who still insists on ringing it until someone answers the door, not fully understanding we could hear it perfectly the first time. Wearing shorts and a T-shirt, I went to see who it was. I was taken aback by a very tall, slender woman wearing a tailored brown suit and carrying a tan briefcase. Somehow knowing I understood Chinese and having done her research about our family and how to find us, she said, “Good morning Mr. Foreigner, my name is Ms. Fang from the Shangqingsi Branch of the China Mutual Insurance Company. I understand you have a little Western Doll here, and I heard she is very cute. I would like to see her now, and I also want to sell you life insurance for her.” I stood there, mouth agape at this inconsiderate intrusion, and if I wouldn’t have snapped to sooner, she would have barged right into our apartment seeking her target. I blocked her way in, and said in unequivocable terms, “In western countries, it is very rude for strangers to drop in unexpectedly at someone’s personal residence, especially salespeople!” I had no patience to try to reason with her, and simply closed the door quickly and firmly in her face. I can imagine she went away thinking, what’s his problem? The good news is she has taken the hint and not come calling again.
last modified Jun 22, 2004 at 4:07
Reminds me of our 6 year stay in Bangkok, Thailand.....our little white-blond haired, blue eyed son was barely 2 years old when we arrived there. When we went out in public, the local people would come up to him and stoke his hair. We were told later it was "good luck" to stroke his fair hair. I never wanted to insult or offend anyone, so I didn't stop the people, but as soon as I got him home, I would put him in the tub and wash his hair! One time, we went to an English speaking theatre to see a movie. When the movie started, the woman next to me wanted to hold my son for a minute. Here again, not wanting to offend, I let her. After a few minutes, I looked over at her, and he was gone! She saw the panic in my eyes and pointed to a woman in the row in front of us. She had also wanted to hold him a minute. I never did get to see the movie, because I had to keep my eye on where my son was....he was being passed all over the theatre, to women who wanted to hold him! By the end of the movie, he was back with me, but I vowed right then, no more movies. In THIS day and age, there is NO WAY I would have let him out of my lap, but that was nearly 40 years ago, a more innocent time, and I was so naive!
At this point, I can certainly relate to your reactions to the attention your precious Perin receives. Bo
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